How to tell if you're spoiling your children?

My understanding of the term spoiling relates to showering your children with endless gifts, providing them with everything they request and giving into their every request to have more. More late nights, more sweets, more of their own way. Personally I believe as a parent you need to have boundaries. Boundaries in all aspects and areas. Having boundaries is essential to all elements of parenting. Every child, given the opportunity would happily request the latest toy, gadget, more late nights and more choices of their own making regardless of consequences. Even if money is not a problem I do not believe in giving excessively. The only giving that ought to be excessive in parenting is love. Love means teaching your children life lessons, about money, boundaries, and the concepts of receiving and giving. Love means saying 'no' to your children. Love does involve giving your children boundaries. 

Let me clarify these matters by offering you a couple of examples. 

If your nine year old child asks you for the latest video game stating all of their friends are going to get one, do you simply give in and say yes? I don't think so. You need to feel that this 'game' is suitable, non-anxiety provoking, age-appropriate and non-violent. YOU have to feel confident as a parent that YOU are making the right choices for your children. If you simply buy the 'game' without doing your own research then you may find it has a negative affect on your child, their behaviour and their capacity to 'wind-down' and rest well. 

If your child request sweets or ice-cream and you give it to them following each request is this taking care of your child? No it isn't! Every child needs a healthy balance of foods. I do not believe that giving your child excessive amounts of sweet or unhealthy trans-fat loaded food is good for their health. Sweets can be given as an occasional treat. 

Sometimes as parents you may be tempted to 'give in' to your child for an 'easy life'. Don't be fooled here, giving in to your child for what seems like a quick fix or an easy life may possibly be the wrong thing to do. Remember you are the parent and they need your guidance and boundaries to grow into healthy and happy teens and adults. 

If they do not appreciate the things you give them and the things they have, then you are spoiling them. 

if you are showering them with love and affection and gifts etc... you need to make sure that kids really know what their rights are and that if you are giving them more they should be more obedient and thankful to you :)

letting children know their rights is an important part of their upbringing...unless they have an idea that what are your duties towards them and what they actually get...they can be easily spoiled...

for more detail you should read this Kids Need to Understand Their Rights @ docsity.