How do you explain to kids that when parents separate it does not mean they are going to get divorced?
Vivien Sabel Author The Blossom Method™ The Revolutionary Way To Communicate With Your Baby From Birth, Baby Expert, Psychotherapist
Well honestly I don't think you can be clear cut about this. If you honestly KNOW that separation will not lead to divorce then sure go ahead and say it. I would avoid making a statement about this unless you are 100% sure.
How about being honest and focusing on your children. The fact is you are going to separate and children need to understand this. In the words of Christina McGhee in her amazing Parenting Apart book "It's not going to be easy."
Tell your children that you love them and that your ex (their mom or dad) loves them as well. Ensure you don't make any false promises and tell them about the positive arrangements you and your ex-partner have made for living separately and continue to focus on the love YOU BOTH have for your children.
DO NOT name-call your ex in front of your children and do remember your children love you BOTH.
Encourage your child or children to communicate their feeling with you and try not to become defensive in your responses. Listen to THEIR thoughts and feelings and support THEM with THEIR distress about the separation. After all YOU are the parent.
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